He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
