y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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