Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
