i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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