I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
