There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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