I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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