You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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