you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
