are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
