On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
