it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
