I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
4 words: hood of his car
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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