I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
