Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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