I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
