I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
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The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
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I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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