as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
