wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize