so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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