Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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