I hate your face
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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