you would pick up someone in the library
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
