she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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