I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
