The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
