they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it's like iHOP with fire
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
