First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
