Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize