You work out of a Hotel?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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