I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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