"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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