I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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