I need help removing her.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
