and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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