i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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