My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
