saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
