I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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