I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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