weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize