dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
