Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize