in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
