So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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