i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
