You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
