this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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