i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
His nipple licking is glorious
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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