I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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