Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
