yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
