google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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