Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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