Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
