he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
