Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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