Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
