My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
